9Months in a Rehab Program Down the Drain?
My husband has been in a 9 month rehab program for alcohol and drugs. He will be graduating soon, and he is in the process of looking for a job and so on. I think its great that after 9 months he is very motivated in looking for a job etc…He has made me go through hell and even after all the times that he has broken my heart I have been the only person that has stood by his side. Ever since he accepted to go into the 9 month Christian rehab center I have been visiting him as often as I can so that he doesnt miss out on our daughter as she grows, I have also kept in touch with him through letters and I just try to give him as much support and encouragement as I can. I give him credit because he has stuck through these long 9 months and I am pretty sure that Its a hard battle to fight when you are an alcoholic and drug addict, no one is forced to stay the entire 9 months anyone can walk out of that rehab center just as anyone walks out of their front door. My husband has been talking to me about moving back together, but we dont have anything, no roof, no $$ saved, and he got upset when I mentioned that first things are first…we gotta pay all the debts that are pending we have to save up, and so on. My parents have been the only ones helping me with my baby since she was born (I know they dont mind, but it is not their obligation) I had a hell of a time after my baby was born bcause 2months after her birth I ended up in ER (gallbladder removal) I was in ICU for 2 weeks…it was terrible and the only ones to be there for me and my baby were my parents bcause he was too busy drinking etc…How can I make him understand that he needs to work his way up? I can just say ok lets move back together, when he has not made a single effort to gain my trust back? I have done so so so much for him and it seems as if he doesnt see it. When everyone else turned their back on him, there I was, even on worse days while I was still recovering from my surgery I was there for him. Why cant he understand or see that he has hurt? Why cant he be more understanding and be a sweeter and more understanding person? I know that when I have hurt someones feelings I feel ashamed and feel so bad for what I have done. If any of you are men that are answering this question: “Why do you act like that?” I am not talking about a girlfriend boyfriend…I am talking about husband and wife. Even though he tells me that he wants to be together and be husband and wife, and he tells me that he loves me he shows me the opposite.Today while I was talking to him and once again trying to tell him that he cant just come out of no where and make plans for me about moving back with him when I have been living with my parents and my daughter for almost a year, without him making a single effort to gain my trust and back, he obviously didnt like what I was telling him and he hung up one me, its not the first time he has hung up on me, so that just tells me that if things dont go his way then he doesnt like it and doesn want to hear anymore of it. If I have put up with him and stuck by his side after the time she has hurt me…wouldnt my actions be speaking more than my words?Would he know that I love him very much? Thank you for comments. I know this is a long story, but I had to take some of this off my chest.