Q&A: Once I Was at a Bar Talking With Some Guy (I’m a Guy)?

Question by POPO: Once I was at a bar talking with some guy (I’m a guy)?
I was having a couple beers and the next thing I remember I woke up in some camper-trailer on a construction site a couple miles away.
The dude was giving me a backrub and saying “it’ll be ok it’ll be ok” and I bolted out of there and drove home in a blur.
I don’t remember getting there or being there until what I would describe as “gained consciousness”
would it be fair to say this would affect my trust in dealing with people?
I’d always been described as shy and ironcally I went to the bar just to try to come out of my shell a little
I’ve been noticing that I feel I can’t trust anyone, any guy that will approach me, interact with me, I’ll assume is gay off the bat and just brush them off.
And no, it wasn’t a gay bar, it was a corner “Cheers”type place simply put
I’m fairly sure this event ( which happened about 14-15 years ago or so, I was about 24-25 I guess) has had some long lasting effects in terms of my social abilities
I tried to see a counselor a while back and can’t bring this thing up
“counselor” yes not a psych
and I can’t afford a regualr psychiatrist really…for any long term..
Is there any way to move beyod this event? It really disgusts me and really has had an enormous affect on my social abilities- I stay at home mostly all of the time outside of work- I’ve let my friendships slide- closed off- haven’t made new substantial relationships in years and years really
I want to hunt that guy down and shove his eyeballs down his throat, although honestly I’m nit exactly sure what happened but having familiarity with alcohol and drugs (ya ya just trust me) and given the pervasiveness at the time I wild guess I was slipped a ‘roofie’
but although there were no apparent signs I would guess I came out of it before the dude had any chance to do much, but really I have no idea-
since that time I’ve only had three relationships all of which were I would say a bit disfunctional, some more than others (four relationships if you count alcohol -6 yr sober now)

so wth can I do at this point?
‘roofie’: Rohibnol (spelling?): date rape drug yes

weird thing too- this guy didn’t seem stereotypically gay- seemed more a working Joe type/redneck/Bruce Springsteen fan (no offense Bruce) type – which was part of the reason I ended up chatting w/him, to get in touch with a “salt of the earth” type- I guess i got an “assault of the earth” type har har :/
Ya I’m not worrying that the events “made me gay” – that’s not the way it works and it just ain’t the case
I’m concerned with the way it has damaged my trust and social issues

Best answer:

Answer by a
Probably drugged? Possibly raped? Yikes. That’s rough. I feel bad for you. I’d be pissed off too if I was in your position. I’m betting that is a big part of your problem right there, but by the dysfunctional issues you were having in your relationships prior to that happening, I’m also guessing that you already had some other issues you were trying to work through.

Go see a psychologist and talk. I’d find a woman psychologist if I was you since you don’t trust men very much. Besides, I would guess that women would be more sympathetic, nurturing and kind hearted towards an event like that since it is one of their greater fears. I think that’s the only way you’re going to get passed that event plus the other events in your past prior to it. You need to talk it out and work through all these emotions/feelings, etc. That should help you move on and regain your sanity again. Good luck.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!