Do You Think Some People Oversimplify Depression and It’s Impact?

Question by Nikki M: Do you think some people oversimplify depression and it’s impact?
I’ve read a lot of questions on here about suicide and depression. You usually get the same sayings over and over again: “Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem”; “Suicide is selfish”; “If you’re depressed, just go to counseling and take medication.”

It seems sometimes that people don’t understand that it’s not that simple and in trying to give advice, they can make things worse.

“Suicide is a permanent solution…” – not every problem is temporary. And not everyone sees suicide as a solution. To a person who’s been raped and homeless, there is a lot to work through. It also affects there relationships from there on, sometimes in a negative way which adds more pain to their situation. It’s not a temporary problem and there is no quick fix, and no amount of drugs or therapy takes away the pain of what life brought to them. Will life get better for them? Quite possibly, but no one knows for sure and you can’t liken their problem to someone who temporarily lost their job or is in between relationships. It’s not on the same level.

Suicide is selfish – a lot of people who say this then go on to say that it would hurt family and friends. From my experience with myself and people I know who have depression, people aren’t as supportive of it as many would like to think. It’s not as simple as just “telling someone how you feel”. Many people have expressed what’s going through their heads and seen they’re friends and family shy away from them. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with the discussion and a lot of people don’t want to hear it, so “telling people” does more harm than good. Also, if the friends and family are the reason the person feels suicidal to begin with, who cares if they’re upset? If your family has been abusing you for years, and your friends always use you, then how is suicide selfish? It seems selfish on their part to want you to stay alive so they can continue to abuse and use you. Can the person get new friends – yes? But it’s a little presumptuous to assume that there are friends and family to hurt when you commit suicide, or that they’re not hurting your worse than you could ever hurt them by dying.

“Go to a counselor” – I know many people who have had YEARS, DECADES of counseling and medication and they’re only marginally hanging on. They have no quality of life. They’re either miserable or so drugged up that they don’t who/where they are most of time. Counseling and medication work for a lot of people, and I’m not taking away from it’s value, but it does NOT work for everyone, and to throw this at someone with depression seems a little dismissive.

Sorry so long. I do think for the most part that depression is treatable and that a lot of people have loving and supporting families to get them through. But to through out such trite, oversimplistic statements ignores the fact that not everyones situation is the same. Thoughts?

Best answer:

Answer by SuperVibrationalEscrow
Every problem does have a solution. Being homeless being raped, being crippled.. none of those things is a valid excuse to wallow in self pity and depression and let your life slip out of your hands. Even not having a support network. It isn’t that I don’t believe in depression, I’ve been depressed. But I also realize that modern medicine has made a disease out of something that isn’t a disease. People who are depressed do need help, from professionals that can coach them back onto their feet. But to say, here take a pill.. well that is just making matters go from bad to worse. When the Dr says oh you have clinical depression and you’ll always have it, they take away hope. The nuances of our situations are different, but the drunk in the gutter and Bill Gates are all in the same boat. We are born and we have a very finite amount of time to enjoy this life. We all have crappy things happen along the way. Some of us get crappier things than others. I grew up in a family where I was severely abused and to top it off my mother made us join a cult religion so I could not speak to anyone about what was going on. I have lived in an abandoned house, by myself in the middle of winter with no heat. And yeah, I was depressed. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. And that is what depressed people need to get counseling for.. not coddled and fed pills. As far as suicide, well I’ve been there too. And am thankful that ‘something’ pulled me back. My thoughts are that someone who has had a crappy life has more reason to live than someone who has had it on easy street the whole time. Because if you know what it means to be down, you will appreciate all the more what it means to have this life.

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