Please Share Some Coersion Techniques?
Question by in COGNITO *: Please share some coersion techniques?
I know they happen and maybe sharing what happened to you, will help others realize when it’s happening to them.
Example: when my sons b-mom was in her pre-placement counceling (wait that is coersive too, really if you think about it, sounds too final) she was shown b-parent letters of couples who were better off financialy and was told that her son would be better off with a Doc or engineer. Even though he had been with us for 6 months. they even had surrender papers there, should she was to changer her mind.
They did it because we were doing a private adoption and were not paying that $ 18K placement fee.
She told them that she wanted us and they felt that she could use some more “counceling”. She called and told me what happened and was sickened by their attempt to sign him into their care.
what can you share?
Best answer:
Answer by Isabel A
This is very long, I’m sorry.
My mother was “counseled” while pregnant with me in that she was sat in the room and asked questions about her background and heritage. When she became engaged to my biological father, her caseworker told her she would “ruin her life” getting married so young and keeping me.
My paperwork has a document that was to be given to the hospital saying that she wanted to hold me and spend as much time with me as possible after I was born. Her caseworker’s signature is on that paper. When it came time for her to give birth to me after two days of labor, a gas mask was placed over her face against her will and she was knocked out. When she awoke, I was gone. She begged to see me and was told that her caseworker was unavailable. I have documentation that proves otherwise. My mother’s caseworker was present but deliberately did not respond to my mother’s pleas. My mother was not allowed to see me until the next day when the nurses finally relented because she would not give up her demands to see me.
She decided to keep me until learning that her mother was gravely ill. A family member who had abused her in the past ordered her to relinquish me and then drove to the city of my birth and forced her to sign the papers. My mother was still not willing to relinquish without the promise that I would not go to foster care. The caseworker made that promised and then sent me to foster care within hours of my mother signing the papers. I spent three months there. Three months in which my foster parents drugged me whenever I cried. They wrote it all out in a letter to my adoptive mother. I have it. They gave me pills whenever I fussed or cried for three months.
In the meantime, the adoption agency was very busy terminating my mother’s right behind her back. They called for emergency sessions to terminate her revocation period early because, and I quote, my mother was “selfish” and “insecure” enough to change her mind.
The agency was ordered to notify my mother of the emergency termination via registered letter which they deliberately sent to a vacated address. Her family had moved over the summer and the agency had the new address but they sent it to the vacated one on purpose. She never got that letter.
The kicker is that I was placed with my adoptive family almost immediately after my mother’s rights were terminated once and for all and the wardship was granted to the agency. But the agency didn’t bother to tell my aparents that I was their ward and that they were collecting state support off of me. This money was never given to my aparents who took on full financial support of me once I was placed. So the agency made money off of me for almost two years, in fact since my wardship had been done secretly in a different county court, it wasn’t actually terminated until three months after my adoption was finalized. So what was I for those three months? A ward or an adoptee? Who cares as long as the agency made money, right?
So in my situation, my mother was coerced, my aparents were deceived and I was fleeced for child support. Pretty sick if you ask me.
Now this was back in the seventies mind you and I hope that there are not cases like mine out there but that is my story. It was pretty shocking to learn in my thirties that everything about my adoption was a lie but it was. I try not to be bitter about it but that caseworker had better hope she never meets me and any of my parents. She’s got some explaining to do.
What do you think? Answer below!
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