How to Get Over My Anxiety and Trust Issues?
Question by Bekki: How to get over my anxiety and trust issues?
My dad was emotionally abusive and sometimes physically to my mum, he left us june 2 years ago, I was seeing him for a year and then stopped, when his new step children became more important then me. He always wanted a boy but I was born a girl and he’s sour about that. He always told me he’s always wanted a boy, but I was a miracle to be conceived as my dads got low sperm count, he always denies I’m his but we have 4 DNA tests to prove that I am his. We have no contact and if we saw him in the street I would freeze up, I now refuse to go out alone, because last time, he came up to me shouting at me and screaming saying I was worthless. Then june last year I was stupid and started self harming, in august I got into drugs and in september I failed at suicide.
I’m now on depression medication and anxiety for panic attacks, I have counselling sessions 2 times a week, but nothings working, I still get nightmares of my dad shouting and screaming and hurting my mum, I still get the day dreaming and my dad will pop into my mind, he would be shouting at me telling me I shouldn’t of been born or he would be forcing me to run and do push ups and deny me of junk food. This probably sounds pathetic but I didn’t have Mcdonalds all my life untill he left.
In March 2011, I decided to give him a second chance, but once again his step family got in the way, he told me a string of lies and I ended it after a couple of weeks, I went back onto the drugs.
Now I’m worst than ever, some days I’m so bad I can’t get out of bed, my mums been so supportive of me, so has my grandparents and my dads sisters brothers and parents. I can’t even step out the door some days and panic attacks come at the worst times, girls my age are getting there first boyfriends, but I can’t trust males, I feel like every male I meet will let me down or hurt me, just like my dad did. Sometimes I feel like I’m not in control of my emotions or my mind.
Has anyone been through this? Counselling isn’t working anymore neither is my medication.
I’m 14 years old.
I feel like such a baby asking this, but I don’t want to speak to my family because my cousins already think I’m doing this for attention.
I can also stay up for day without sleeping, I just wont beable to sleep.
I have once gone 5 days without sleeping.
Best answer:
Answer by Lucas matthew
Try undergoing rehabilitation.
Answer by barry
A previous answer follows, modified for you: One suggestion is to write a letter, expressing how it has affected your life, and what you would like to see happen about it now, then either post it, unaddressed, or have a ceremony, and burn it safely, in a metal container, and flush the ashes down the toilet, symbolically ending the matter. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which communication with your subconscious mind is facilitated. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If not an option, hypnosisdownloads has: escape emotional abuse. If the above proves insufficient, I suggest that you seek psychotherapy, and a course of EMDR therapy, (* http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/q.html – panic attacks; see pages 1, & h; anxiety; pages 1, & i) would probably reduce the negative emotions associated with your memories of emotional abuse to more acceptable levels – the EMDR to reduce the negative, combined with the other techniques shown may be all you need, enabling you to avoid psychotherapy (open ended; can take years, cost a small fortune, and achieve little, depending on the therapist, and client). Try the relaxation methods at http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody…
or www.wikihow.com/Meditate and/or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Also page L at this site*, where there are several to choose from.
Some people are still dismissive of them, but scientific testing has demonstrated conclusively that they increase activity in the left prefrontal cortex, when practised regularly, and will enable you to find a way of being; awareness, without suffering, when you need it, and is a valuable tool for helping you through the worst parts of life. Give the acupressure EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at ** www.mercola.com “EFT” & “EFT therapists”, or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) or, if still available, the free video for PTSD at www.emofree.com Professional EFT is always preferable. – There is a version for use in public places**, (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: “Even though I suffer the aftereffects of emotional abuse, I deeply and completely accept myself.” At the end of therapy, discuss the importance of (sincere) forgiveness; to not do so is to hold onto the hurt, but you may not be ready for this step for some time.
Read: Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Ann McMurray and Gregory Jantz, Ph.D., & Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, & The Twelve Steps of Forgiveness by Paul Ferrini and Pia Mackenzie, & Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life by Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Simon, & “Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve” by Lewis B. Smedes. Get through your fear of forgiveness, from your bookstore, or amazon.com.