Advice on Drug Abuse/change of Behaviour?
Question by Daisy S: Advice on drug abuse/change of behaviour?
Lately, I have noticed small changes in my flatmate at university. We have always been extremely open about how history with drugs, and we were always aware that she had played with marijuana, ecstasy, magic mushrooms and various pills.
But in the past semester, she has started to excessively drink, smoke, and always seems so distant. And in the past few weeks, her behaviour has spiraled downwards. Every evening she is usually sneaking out at 1 in the morning, and returning at around 5ish. And when we question her about it she seems so secretive, dismissive, and even aggressive. Her behaviour has scared all of us, so much that we have searched the internet and believe she may possibly have moved onto harder drugs.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? What advice does anyone have for us to do? We are so concerned, but it’s not an easy thing. Also, if say she was on harder drugs, what would her behaviour be like? Any help would be very much appreciated, thank you.
Best answer:
Answer by Jeenu
I think she has some thing in her mind, which she is not sharing with her family and friends. You have to try to ask her. there is a site http://secretzen.com , where one can share his feelings with the whole world anonymously. try this out.
Answer by lightwriter
Wow, this is a delicate situation. I can tell you that there are only two things that ever had me going out from 1 to 5 am: Love or drugs. Is she in love? If not, well… You must keep in mind that her journey and her choices are her own. However, you have both a right and a responsibility to set boundaries and protect yourself – both emotionally and materially. And realize that if she is into such temptations as crack or heroin, stuff will begin to disappear – those substances are expensive and bottomless.
You and other who love her can do an intervention, wherein you confront her with your suspicions and the evidence that lead you to believe she is using. Be non-confrontational and non-judgmental, expressing only love and a desire to offer support and assistance. Be prepared with options and solutions. For example, an option is to stay where she is and get help addressing the problem and recovering – OR – continue this path, if that is her choice, but she must do that somewhere else. You cannot/will not be party to and enable this destruction.
If she is like most addicts (myself included) change will not happen until it is forced, either by running out of the ability to use (hitting bottom) or choosing to change course and pursue a life of recovery.
I hate to tell you, but the likelihood is she will deny, manipulate and continue to try to use until the disease runs its course. This doesn’t mean she’s a bad person; it means she’s in the grips of a disease that includes lies and delusion of both self and others. You cannot control her choices, you can only control your responses to them.
Before any confrontation, quiet yourself and ask the power of your understanding to guide your words and your intentions and to bring about the most positive outcome for the highest good of all concerned. (And understand that this outcome may not be what you consider the best – but her journey is her journey.
Good luck. Oh, and also remember it’s not your duty nor your right to interfere with someone else’s pain – each soul is here to learn what it needs to learn. Sometimes preventing someone from reaching bottom is simply prolonging pain and delaying their recovery.
Namaste!
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