Advice About Drug Addiction?

Question by mickey: Advice about drug addiction?
Hi my name is micky. I had a severe drinking problem and last November decided to go to rehab. After being in rehab for a few days I met a wonderful lady who was only going through the detox part of the time. When she left detox after one week, I remained in rehab and we started seeing each other. After leaving rehab I moved in with her. After about a month we started snorting oxycontin then six months later doing needles, just me and her. We finally ended up getting cotton fever, rushing to the hospital and then I found out that I had Hep C. Despite this, our drug use escalated. As we spent all our money and the withdrawals got worse and worse, I suggested we go on methadone. Being on methadone, I missed the oxy high and started mainlining crack, which I had experienced before. My girlfriend had never done crack and although I urged her not to, I understood how badly she wanted to get any kind of high possible. Now that we’ve been on methadone for three months, she has decided to go to treatment, which is taking more time than expected. She doesn’t want to stay with me anymore because the crack use is driving her insane. If it’s there she wants it, then is mad at herself for using again. I myself can use occasionally. I love her with all my heart and want the best for her but I also want her with or without the drug use. Is there an easy solution to this problem that doesn’t involve us breaking up or continuing to abuse drugs.
Any comments are appreciated.

Best answer:

Answer by Charlie
With all due respect.. I think the two of you do need to go your separate ways. You both have the same addiction and unfortunately it sounds like neither of you want to quit and in turn want to blame the other person for being the reason you are still using. This is not a healthy relationship.. it is a relationship built upon drugs. How can you Truly love someone that you spend most of your time high with.. the feelings alone from the drugs are fake and so are allot of the connections you feel to her while you both are using. You both use each other as justification for the continual abuse of your problems.. it’s allot harder to quit when you have someone else to live in hell with.

Best wishes.. I really wish you the best.. and you can beat it.. but at least for the time being when you want to beat it you two need to be apart.

EDIT:

Let me add the main reason why I say this is because with allot of the things you said you can tell that neither of you are strong enough to tell the other no.

Answer by Kassie18
Okay you are getting this answer from me because I am a recovering addict, and because I have gotten my life together gotten several years sober went back to school, and I now am a drug and alcohol counselor at a rehab. So I will tell you what happened to me. My boyfriend and I started snorting oxys and within 2 months were mainlining heroin. I tried over and over again to get clean, but he would never go to rehab so he always pulled me back down. I loved him but didnt know what to do. After coming out of rehab the 3rd time we started smoking crack togther and things got worse even quicker. We had to go our seperate ways, and we both got sober on our own. We got back together after we were both clean for about 6 months, and I actually got pregnant with our son. He relapsed while I was pregnant, and has really not been there for our child, but I have stayed sober and gone back to school, so now I raise my son on my own and work as a supervising addictions counselor in a long term drug and alcohol facility. I see people hooking up in my facility constantly and when they leave together they constantly pull each other back down. So I do understand you guys love each other but at this point neither of you are strong enough or well enough for a relationship. It isnt even a relationship its just codependency. You both like having someone around so your not alone, and I am sure you love her but when your high all the time its hard to actually show real love.
I think you really need to check into a rehab, and try to get some time under your belt. Let her do the same thing, trust me I know that guilt when you dont want to use but you do it because its there. If you love her then you cant have drugs around her. She is an addict, and you may not want to admit it but you are too. You need to come off of everything. Includung the methadone that is poison, your better off doing heroin. If you need something to help you detox go to a doctor and get suboxone, and that will help you without another addiction. But please try and get yourself some help, and then after you both are clean then maybe you can get back together.

Like I said I got back with my boyfriend when we had 6 months sober, we still talked through letters and the phone the whole time we were in rehab, but we needed to focus on ourselves. Which is what you guys need to do. Even after those 6 months apart he went back out there but I was strong enough so he didnt pull me down. I cannot tell you guys what to do, but this is my perspective and I am on both ends I am an addict and I treat addicts everyday. I wish you the best of luck.

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