How Do I Get Over This Mood…thing?
Question by : How do I get over this mood…thing?
For the longest time, I have always shut people out of my life. At school, I would tell no one of my home life, and reversed at home. If I ever do have to talk someone, it is with my best friend. But there are some things I just can’t talk about with her. I did have someone I could talk about anything with, and I would always share my problems with him, since we were from similar backgrounds. His father was a drug addict and an alcoholic, and my father was just an alcoholic. But I got pissed at something another friend said about him, and I, believing it to be true, accidentally drove him away. And now I have no one. Since then, I only share my problems in bursts. And when I say bursts, I mean it. I have a mild stutter, and this past week I had to give an oral presentation. I was freaking out. I burst into tears and ran to my nearest most trustworthy friend in that class just days before I had to present. I never cry in public. I never have. So my friends were all at a loss of what to say or do. I always pretended to be heartless in a way. Nothing would bother me. But since I drove away my “counselor”, I don’t know how to let anyone else in. At home, I am one person, at school, another. And when I’m alone, I feel….almost numb. And I hate this. Is it stress? Is it from emotional trauma caused by my dad?
Other stuff you should know about me is that I am overly self-conscious. I can’t look in a mirror for more than exactly seven seconds before I start listing every ugly feature about myself. Nor can I look in passing reflections of myself in store mirrors, glass, or anything else shiny and reflective, including spoons.
How do I get over this? Without getting professional help, please. I’m 15, and I can’t talk about this with my parents, especially my dad. I love him, cuz he’s my dad, isnt he? And I don’t want to hurt, no matter how he’s hurt me. That’s another thing about me. I’m too afraid of hurting others, and when I do, I feel it ten times worse than they do. And yes, I have tried to get my “counselor” back, but he has his own problems to deal with, and he’s intent on MAKING himself miserable. Anyway, advice plz???
NOTE! my dad never physically hurt me, but he said things while he was drunk that really stung. so dont think im abused or something. besides, hes been going to AA meetings regularly since.
Best answer:
Answer by non-existant
you sound like you suffer from post-traumatic stress, worries because of abuse, and depression
i’m not a professional in any way so i’m not sure
but if you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me
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How to Become a Venioe Director
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