How Is This Poem? I’m Not Too Happy With It. but It Is My First Real Try.?

Published September 5, 2010

Question by Johnny L.: How Is This Poem? I’m Not Too Happy With It. But It Is My First Real Try.?
I’m 14 years old, is it okay? Good? Bad? Pitiful?

Depression?
“‘Tis as plankton to a whale”
Said the fox…
That ferocious entity
Who kindly steals ungainly emotions
Leaving apathy alone, in that swirling abyss of my mind
How peaceful, How serene
Like a drug, a clever sheen
So jump foxxy
Into your den
Take me away foxxy
To that Land again.

any advice?

Best answer:

Answer by Deborah W.
Its very sad. You need to go to your doctor.

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