How to Approach My Parents About This Estranged Family Member I Am Curious About?

Question by Becca: How to approach my parents about this estranged family member i am curious about?
So, apparently i have this uncle named Trevor. He’s the youngest kid on my mom’s side (my mom and her brothers and sisters were all adopted).

All i know, is that he tried running away at many points in his childhood, and left home for good at 16. Apparently there were some drug and alcohol problems involved somewhere in there…

Apparently he did something horrible to my late grandpa, and has been in jail since (17 years… two years before i was born… i have no idea on what his sentence is.. i just know he’s been in prison for a long time, and is in prison now… have no idea which prison and what country etc.)

All of these little “facts” i’ve collected off of pure eavesdropping. My parents have never consciously told me anything about this uncle (except the fact that he exists…) Just me listening in on late night phone conversations, late night, serious, private talks between my parents, etc

My brother, who is 9 years older than me (24) told me that when he was younger, before this uncle was placed in jail, my parents told him specifically that if a man who claimed to be his uncle EVER approached him– that he was to run to a safe place and call the police. My brother has been known to tell lies… but for some reason, i just kind of instinctively believe him on this one.

i’ve tried asking my parents about this uncle.. but when i do, their eyes just go dark, and they just usher me away with a harsh “be quiet, and go to your room”. Since about 8 years ago, my family has cut off all strings with outside family members (i cannot speak to grandparents, aunts, cousins, other uncles) so asking them about this uncle is not an option.

I am sick of having such a secretive family. It’s not like i HAVE to know about this uncle… but it would be nice to satisfy my curiosity on this one family matter. I mean– if he in jail based off something horrible he did to one of my family members– don’t i have the right to know who he is, and what he did?

Any ideas on how I can approach my parents on this matter? …it would be nice to get some specific facts and closure.
I’m sorry… this question got posted twice for some reason.
I’m sorry… this question got posted twice for some reason.
and– for some reason the last “add details” got posted twice as well… weird.
no no– my BROTHER is 24. No me.
Sorry to add sooo many details.

But– unfortunately, the family members that i know of do not have myspace/facebook accounts.

And I appreciate the link, but i don’t live in the U.S. But thanks for the idea– i’ll try searching for a similar website for Canada… and hopefully find that at least one relative lives near by, and who will hopefully be more open than my parents.

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