Is It Wrong to Give Your Boyfriend an Ultimatum?

Published June 26, 2011

Question by Stevi Ann: Is it wrong to give your boyfriend an ultimatum?
my boyfriend is drug dependant, and has been using again.
i dont want to say “its either me, or rehab” because i know he has to be ready to stop on his own, no matter how badly i want him to, it wont help until he is ready. he has been using pain killers, xanax, methadone and heroin for at least 6 years. its just not working anymore between us. it is okay to tell him its either rehab or me? or should i just walk away, remain friends, be there for him and hope he gets the help he needs?
its not working because im tired of him lying about getting and doing drugs. it is the only thing we argue about, but it is a BIG thing
he NEEDS rehab. he cannot do it on his own, with or without me. i have tried. i dont even ask him not to do drugs, i ask him to tell me when he feels likes using, what triggers him blah blah blah. my biggest issue is him LYING about it. i mean, if he can sit there and lie straight to my face about not doing drugs, then he obviously has chosen to hide it then to be honest to his “future wife.”

i guess im scared he will refuse rehab.

:(
it has nothing to do with loving me or not, it has to do with the fact he is an active addict, and he needs help. he knows this, but should i ask him its me or rehab!?
his parents know. they are willing to pay for rehab. im thinking, maybe an intervention? i dont know…….

thanks everyone

Best answer:

Answer by goalie4life11
telling him that he either has to go to rehab or be with you seems like it won’t work

if he truly loves you then he would choose you. so instead of saying rehab or you tell him he has to choose between the drugs or you.

hope this helps

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