Is My Husband a Sociopath?

Question by Anonymous: Is my husband a Sociopath?
I recently found sexual text messages from my husband to a co worker. When I first confronted him he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about but then admitted I was right shortly after but was very defensive and mean for a couple days, acting like I’m the one who did something wrong. after days and days of me asking for whole truths he finally admitted he has been flirting and texting with girls for years but that it never went further than that since we have been married, then he proceeded to tell me that he cheated on me with three different women early in our relationship long before we were married. He admits to being wrong and is very apologetic but I’m having a hard time believing its genuine remorse. I dont know if this is because I have trust issues with him in general after all we have been through or because he’s incapable of feeling guilty? He has lied to me about little things before and later when i found out said he didn’t tell me because he was afraid of my reaction. Also he used to have a substance abuse problem for years that i helped him through. there was allot of lying through that but i think that’s always the case when dealing with an addict. anyways he changed and stopped using and has been sober almost 3 years. we have a child together and he seems to truly be a loving parent. he even developed a passion for cooking and has become a successful chef. Hes able to support me and our child. I dont work. he also gives me full control of our money. I pay all the bills and tell him how much he has every week for gas a cigarettes and he finds this arrangement helpful. based on his personality he is a jokester, but has a bit of a sick sense of humor. some things he finds funny most people would not. He also is very impatient,has refered to himself as the best human being on the planet (he says he doesn’t really think this and that he only says it to get a rise out of people) he finds serial killers interesting,he has some ignorant views on groups of people and religion, hes not a very emotional person but I have seen him cry and also can recall him feeling guilty about being a bad influence on siblings and being a defiant person to his parents and grandparents when he was a kid (seems like unsolicited remorse) he has a checkered past but its all based on his old substance abuse. For the most part he is a family man. he works allot but we communicate throughout the day and he leaves and gets out of work usually the same time everyday. he works in a restaurant so hours very. on his days off he plays with our child and cleans,cooks and we run errands together. he doesn’t ever tell me what to do or put me down. He’s weird and always has been (one of the things that always attracted me to him) he says random things at random times like movie quotes or bits of personal experiences or detailed memory’s of dialog from his past. he laughs when he does this and it seems like hes looking for a reaction. he likes to purposely annoy close family members because it cracks him up. and people who dont know him as well only see glimpses of this behavior and find him fun and funny because of it. Other people just think hes crazy. he has literally taught our son to say some of these random quotes. Its nothing inappropriate just odd. He doesn’t ever go out and hang with friends out side of work and the only few times in our marriage he has that i know of he lied about at first because he thinks i will flip out because i still have trust issue from his alcoholism. anyways….does this sound like he may be a sociopath? Hes willing to be mentally evaluated even though he denies my suspicions of him being psychotic. What does everyone think? Am I damaged and paranoid or does he seem like a Sociopath?
Well im glad no one thinks hes a sociopath but Im not 100% convinced. I dont know. I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out why he did this. how can he love me if he has no problem with risking our relationship time and time again? My brain is flooded with maybe he cant love? Maybe hes crazy? maybe I’m not good enough? maybe hes not attracted to me? Its causing me to obsess and constantly stalk his online activity and phone and calling him and texting him at work with new theory’s about his sanity. Maybe I really am the loon and that’s why Hes seeking attention from someone unattached? I have literally gone from trying to look better for him to doing CSI investigating. This is all so consuming and feels like a nightmare. I feel like I dont know him anymore and that maybe I never really did. I left him a few days after my discovery on his phone and took my child to my sisters. I left a note saying he can either be a pig or be a husband and father and that he ca
nt have both. He was mad we left and tried pinning blame on me. saying i was overreacting and he was [pissed i got family involved. he eventually calmed down and got us but later he admitted he was shocked when he found the note but he knew we would come back. He knew we would come back? doesn’t that seem manipulative? does he think he can do whatever he wants and he will still have a family when he gets home? im already a high anxiety person so having things so theoretic and unresolved is killing me. he just want to know why. I dont want to constantly wonder if there’s more i dont know. if its worse than i think? he says he told me everything but im having a really hard time believing that. he kept the truth from me for 6 years so how can i believe him now? maybe we should seek therapy. i have no clue how we will pay for something like that but the idea sounds nice.
and yes he does mimic his parents but he also mimics siblings,old friends,random people and movies. anything he finds funny he will lock in his head for later use. sometimes he pulls these quotes out when your trying to have an adult conversation and if he gets a rise out of you he will laugh and apologize and say he cant help it. hes very immature but when he wants to be hes serious. he has seemed very serious in wanting things to work and wanting to move forward but for some reason my mind views this as him telling me what i want to hear. I just dont believe im worth anything to him for him to change.

Best answer:

Answer by Sierra
no he just sounds like a cheater

Answer by Kitty
I believe you’re damaged yes anyone would be. If you love him and want things to stay strong then take him to counseling and psychiatrist to see if he’s ok. But I’m going to tell you one thing from experience that if after all this happened and you’re not willing to let go of the past and you’re going to let this eat you up inside, move on. It’s only a recipe for worse heart break. If you want a happy romantic trustful relationship with a man move on, I know it’s hard when there’s a child involved but do you really want your child to look up to a man who has no respect for his partner? Take care hunny and do what’s best for you and your son.

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