Q&A: How Can I Be Honest? I Don’t Want to Be Thrown Into a Mental Ward Again.?

Question by I love Kumo: How can I be honest? I don’t want to be thrown into a mental ward again.?
I understand that this is quite long, but please help.

Alright, so last year I was talking to a councelor (or therapist or whoever it was) and told her how worthless life seemed and that I wanted to die. I was then immediately thrown into a mental hospital ( a state operated one since i have no insurance). There, I was trying to get myself better by being as honest as I can on my feelings etc. But what do you know? After three agonizing months in there, there was no improvement, so I gradually started to lie about how I was feeling better and how I was now free of suicidal ideations. I was just so desparate to get out of that effin place with lazy fat ass staffs that let you do nothing. I was tired of how the doctors just tried to solve everything with drugs and pills. Along with my discharge and diagnose of “Major depressive disorder with psychotic features, schizoid personality disorder”, they hired a “therapist” and councelor that comes to my home. Although the councelor helped with my school problems (catching up and everything), the other one did nothing for me.

So a few months later, I tried to kill myself by overdosing, but unfortunately survived by the efforts of the intensive care team, and of course, got sent to that psychiatric ward again. I got out two weeks later, and here I am now.

I do take my medication as directed. However, I still feel alone in the world, see no point in life, have no genuine interest in anything, and have reoccuring thoughts of blowing my brains out, (but have no access to weapons and now, drugs.) How can I be honest with the people on these feelings if the rule is that they must “notify if I am a threat to myself or others”? I am afraid that they will send me there again. Being in that ward doesn’t help at all, if not make matters worse. I have no friends that I trust or will understand and my family–oh god. i don’t even want to even think about it. Besides, I need someone to help solve my problems. Help
I am poor and have no insurance. Medicaid keeps denying me because I am not US citizen.( I am from Korea and don’t have a green card yet)
I don’t want to hear about religion.

Best answer:

Answer by nfbookworm16
I don’t know what religion you are, but if you are catholic, you could try talking to a preist. they are bound to secrecy, and are not allowed to tell anybody what you have said and have no power to throw in the mental wards. i’m not sure if it will help but you could try it.

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