Repetitive Relationship Conflict, Should I Apologize or Expect an Apology or Neither?

Question by Marc: Repetitive relationship conflict, should I apologize or expect an apology or neither?
I have been living with a wonderful woman for four years, we have two beautiful children together. We have both got into a pattern of drug/alcohol and physical/verbal abuse that I know is not natural to either of us (I have been the addict/”victim” and she the abuser) Our problems stem from communication and trust issues. I tend to blame myself for everything and go into a downward spiral, pretty lame and unmanly. We are both extrememely prideful and stubborn, that is about all we have in common (other than we are both good and kindhearted people underneath it all). The issue of infedility has snowballed into a sort of ‘catch 22’, and the the arguement is now more about
argueing than about any single issue. Neither of us have been perfect or truly innocent, but I still believe that love can overcome all. I know that we both still LOVE eachother but the question is ‘has our ability to be IN LOVE been corrupted by the guilt and hurt of our mistreatment torward oneanother?” help. .
Thank you all for your answers, they were all right on it for the most part. It is very helpful to get fresh and honest perspective from outside sources. I know my problem is not unique, or as severe as MANY other peoples issues are. I do not at all believe that I am a ‘victim’. I was merely connecting how I pretend to be one as a crutch, a role to fall on in order to throw a pity party for myself, and justify (falsely) using drugs to numb my emotions. I have been clean for two weeks and am MUCH happier in this state. I never doubted I could quit, I think it was a selfish and immature way for me to silently protest what I perceived as my g/f deception and disrespect.
She is completely alcohol and drug free since becoming a mom.
I began to suspect that she had a relationship with a friend early on in the relationship, and lied, she still denies it. I was given no reason to believe it w/o concrete evidence, but (ex)friend began making a string of innuendos that hit my gut. . .

Best answer:

Answer by L0ve GlaSseS
Remember ur children, u could b destroying their future with what ur doing. Please ge some professional help and try to stop!.

I REALLY hope God stays by u and that u do overcome everything 4 ur kids`s sake.

oxox.

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