Teens and Drinking – Question for Successful Parents/professionals?

Question by Julia: Teens and Drinking – Question for successful parents/professionals?
I have 2 teenage daughters. Last night as my 14 year old was being lectured, she made the comment ” Monica, has done much worse things.” When I asked her to elaborate, Monica (my 15 yr old) decided to turn herself in and told my husband that the last time she “stayed at a friends house,” they decided to go to a party. She admitted to drinking 5 shots. 3 tequila and 2 vodka. I almost fell over. She said it was the first time she ever drank. I asked her if she was sorry. Her response was “Yeah, I am, but I don’t really feel bad because 95% of HS kids try alcohol.” Also, she failed last year and will have to repeat 9th grade. Here’s my question. I appreciate that she came to us with this. However, I don’t think it was by choice. She had 3 friends that were also involved in this. How do i handle this? I don’t want to shut down the communication lines, but I can’t let this continue? She was so casual about the whole thing.

Best answer:

Answer by Mary B
Unfortunately children these days are getting information from friends and not from parents. As parents seem to see themselves as friends instead of parents, and children need parents. I am thinking she sees other teens and what they are doing as normal. If she is failing then you really need to do something fast. Get some structure for her like, let her know you will be checking on her and calling other parents to do it. I was always happier when a parent called to check on their kids at least I knew they cared, as many do not. This is also a friend thing she may feel that to be popular with the kids she hanging out with she must do these things. Help her find something she enjoys and get her into a new clique that is being productive. Also if this persist take her to a low income area to do volunteer work so she can she first hand how these people live because of the choices they made and how it affects their kids. This can be an eye opening lesson when she sees how they live and how hungry their children are it breaks your heart and maybe in her case will open her eyes. Good luck

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