Training My Black Dog?
Question by D-Roo: Training My Black Dog?
Hi, battled depression most of my life and didn’t really care for help I just drowned it with recreational drugs and booze and that worked just fine, for a time.
Now things are different, I have a reason to care. I have a decent job and a GF for 5 years, I’m 26 and for the first time want to train this depression and try to feel some enjoyment.
I am just really struggling at the moment, I have been numb for so long I find it hard to enjoy myself without drugs or sex or booze. I am going on the holiday of a lifetime and can not even get excited about it. I have really turned my life around from where I was yet still suffer the depression that seems it will never leave me.
I guess the reason I want to feel is because I felt again when I first met my girlfriend. I saved myself for love and found her, I was finally happy and then she cheated. I now feel that the only thing that could set me free has been broken and now there is nothing left for me, sure we are still together all has been forgiven and moved on together but it is not the same. It has been 4 years now since and I have slipped deep again. I hide it well like I always had done, this time with less recreational drugs, yet my GF is noticing it more and more as I talk less and my numbness becomes more and more apparent to her. I have always been against medication (yes funny as I consumed recreational drugs) and will not see that as an option.
I was hoping some other people out there could offer suggestions as to how they train there depression, maybe if anyone has felt again and how they found it. I never talk to anyone about any of this; I keep to myself and my GF outside of work and have the social skills of a caged chimp.
Best answer:
Answer by cal74sb
First of all, you should reconsider your stance on medication. Depression is a real illness, it’s your brain chemistry not working properly, and it can be helped with meds. I’m not talking about some heavy-duty drug like Prozac which will turn you into a Zombie, I’m talking about a very mild anti-depressant like Wellbutrin, that has no noticeable side effects, and that let’s you still feel things normally.
Having said that, after reading your story it seems to me that you are replacing your depression with other things, such as sex, or drugs, or alcohol even. That’s something I would take a careful look at, because those things are NOT curing your depression, but prolonging it, and eventually it will catch up with you and probably making it all worse, because drugs tend to do that … they depress your central nervous system, and coming off of them is never good. Same with having your GF fill that void. You are still not addressing the problem, you are just temporarily patching up the symptom. If there is a problem with drugs, you may want to look into some meetings … depression and drug abuse often goes hand in hand … it’s a dual diagnosis.
I’m not preaching here, I speak from experience. Consider a mild antidepressant, look for some counseling even. If you really refuse the pills, you should definitely talk to a professional, because alone you will NOT be able to fix your brain chemistry. It’s just a fact that things are not working properly and that’s why certain people get depressions… It’s not something bad, and taking a pill for it for something like 6 month to a year (and that’s probably all the time you need) does not stamp you crazy. To the contrary!!! Why would you deny yourself to live life happily??
One last word, you cannot do this alone. Trust me. I tried for 15 years. Always came out the loser. Feeling better about yourself will help you form better relationships and help you lead a better, more enjoyable life. Don’t deny yourself that freedom because you’re too proud to take a little pill for a short period of time …
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