What Is Wrong With Me, Please Help?

I just don’t know anymore…My parents are 35 now and i am 19. I have been in counseling since i was 7, i started smoking pot when i was 12, I got kicked out of my first highschool when i was 13, at that point my mother couldnt deal with me any longer and asked me to leave her house, my father moved out of his parents house and we got an apartment together, my father used crack during this entire time and wouldn’t come home for weeks, at 14 i tried cocaine and after a month i was using about 7 grams every 4 days or so, My father used to sneak in my room and steal money from my pockets while i slept.. i knew he was doing it i just was afraid and hurt so i just let him do it and didnt say anything.. total of 5 thousand over two years, i paid half the rent with money i got from selling weed and even one time i had to make the full payment, when i was 14 i got kicked out of my second highschool and coincidentally we also got evicted out of our apartment, We moved and i ended up saving about 50-60 grand from selling drugs at 15 years old, My father only got worse and i finally caught him with 30 crack pipes in his drawer… which he wouldnt admit to even when i showed him that i found them, I over dosed on cocaine twice in this time, I was then charged with 2nd degree aggrivated assault and attemtped murder… i was aquitted on the attempted murder because it was self defense, i was on probation at the time and i failed some drug tests for cocaine so the judge decided sending me to a long term rehab was the best option as i was only 15, I then went to the youth detention center until there was an open bed in the inpatient rehab, After being there for 4 months i was transfered to the rehab, That place… it makes me want to cry. I went through some profound changes there.. When i went in i was happy, almost too energetic, outgoing, sports active, easy to make friends with, honorable, i always talked with everyone about their problems and tried to help, i never backed down and i used to care. Slowly i started to change… within three months i was put into anger management and i was diagnosed with Chronic Depression.. The plan was when i get out to move back in with my father but after being in for 6 months he went into the army and moved to hawaii.. After that i talked with my mother and i would be moving back in with her. My younger sister turned 2 while i was in rehab and my mother had 2 other children while i was in… After being there for 14 months i finally got to go “home”. After i was fitted with an ankle bracelet so i couldnt leave me house unless it was for school or work for 4 months. I was 16 at this point and i dropped out of school and got my GED and started working and going to Community College. Everything was going alright except my mother just didnt treat me the same anymore. The only way i can explain it is that she was just… mean and not caring, she never hugged me or told me she loved me anymore. I wasn’t using drugs for that 4 months and two months after i got off the bracelet, i then started drinking and smoking pot again, i took acid 3 times and i did shrooms 3 times, 3 days after i turned 17 my mother informed me she was moving 4 states away and that i wasn’t going with her, I then moved in with my grandparents, at this point i only had 15 grand left out of the 50 i had, by chance i met a beautiful girl and we started dating, we had a great relationship for about a year and a half with minimal argueing, we have been dating 2 and a half years now and all we do is fight every day, I failed out of College and i started using extacy, At that time i was about 18 and a half, Then out of nowhere i started stealing left and right, I lost my group of friends because i stole from them… i stole 8 thousand from my grandparents… and i even took a twenty from my girlfriend at one point.. her father had given her a debit card for emergencys and i started taking that and withdrawing money from it probably around 3 thousand dollars… I am 19 and a half now, me and my girlfriend are at the worst point ever, my grandparents want me thrown out, my father was killed in Iraq 3 months ago, since that day i was using around 6-10 extacy pills a day… I have forgotten almost the entire past year of my life… i stopped doing extacy 2 weeks ago after i texted my girlfriend saying i was going to kill myself (just for attention) and was placed in a hospital for 15 and a half hours….
Now i am never happy, I am always angry and yelling, i literally can’t carry conversations with people anymore… i just can never think of anything to say, i have literally 0 friends, i am still stealing…. i make a huge deal out of little nothings and hours later i forget how or why i even felt that way, i have lost my drive to do anything, all i do everyday is wait for my girlfriend to get to my house, we’ll argue and she’ll leave then i just mess with these 18 turtles i have and upgrad