You Can Help an Alcoholic to Recover

You Can Help an Alcoholic to Recover

In what ways can we help an alcoholic that does not enable them but actually pushes them towards recovery?

This can be a tricky but very fine line and we will not always be perfect when dealing with a struggling alcoholic in our life.

We want to do what we can to help the struggling alcohol, but many times our efforts will actual be counterproductive because we might actually be enabling them instead of helping them. So how can we know how to avoid enabling? How do we know when we are genuinely helping someone?

Here are some guidelines that can help us:

1) Do not help them on their terms – This is a big one and can get you into trouble, so make sure you are on guard against it. If the alcoholic says that they want help, but they are still trying to control things and manipulate, then they are not truly seeking assistance. They are trying to manipulate you.

Now this can be tricky to identify because many times this behavior is so ingrained in the alcoholic that they do not even realize that they are doing it. But you have to see the difference between when they are manipulating versus actually seeking help. You can do this by gauging their level of surrender. If they are asking to tell them how to live, then it is likely that they really do want to change. But if they are still trying to control their own life then you should probably step away from the situation and not “help them.”

2) Do not give them money – Here is a quick suggestion that gets right to the heart of the matter. Alcoholics need money in order to drink, but you should never give them money, even if they need to feed their children. Yes this sounds terrible but you have to understand just how manipulative an alcoholic can be. They might have already spent their money on booze, knowing that someone would step in and not let their children go hungry. If you hand them cash in this instance then you are not really helping the kids, you are buying their alcohol. Don’t fall for this type of manipulation by simply following the simple rule: don’t give an alcoholic money.

3) Do not party or drink with the alcoholic – there are times when you might want to kick back and get a little tipsy yourself, right? If you are around the struggling alcoholic, don’t do it. Never drink around them. It only gives them “permission” to feel good about their own drinking.

4) Suggest treatment but do not threaten or force them – if you try to force the issue this will only create resentment and more drinking. People who are forced or strongly coerced into treatment do not stay sober. They have to want it for themselves so your best bet is to simply let them know that the option is available when they are ready for help.

5) Consider a formal intervention as a last resort – consider carefully before you do a formal intervention because it is possible that things will get worse, not better, and relations could suffer. That is why this is sort of a last ditch effort – the possibility is there that an intervention could actually make things worse. On the other hand, doing one could be the final catalyst that is needed to nudge an alcoholic towards real change (just don’t count on it). More likely, an intervention is a step along a path….it may not lead to instant recovery, but it might be part of the long path for someone.

So there you have it. Follow these suggestions and do what you can to offer help to the alcoholic in your life. With a bit of luck and perhaps some prayer they might be in for some real changes. Good luck to everyone out there.

The Alcoholic Family: A chance for Redemption www.therecoveryplace.net (877) 912-7837 Each member of the Alcoholic Family ) is important at The Recovery Place Family Program. Healthy support from the families is crucial in the recovery process of an alcoholic. But knowing how to help an alcoholic family member isn’t easy. Our Family Program at TRP excels in teaching the family how to support their loved one both during and after the rehabilitation program. Some of our professional addiction specialists have an insider’s view on what the addicted or alcoholic family member is going through. Lead clinician Pamela has been clean for 21 years. Her personal experience…and success in recovery…gives her an extra edge on how to help an alcoholic family member, as well as understanding what family members of alcoholics are going through. Family focused therapy at The Recovery Place emphasizes help for alcoholism on the family as a whole. Alcoholism and the family are painfully intertwined, with parents of alcoholics and other family members needing specific help and support during rehabilitation and recovery.
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